American pop culture: a few observations

Ex-Idol Contestant Says Show Is Rigged, by Lyndsey Parker in Reality Rocks, Yahoo, no less.

Some ousted season 8 American Idol top 36 semi-finalists--including Felicia Barton, Kendall Beard, and Ju'Not Joyner--participated in an online chat with the Idol website AI Now today. And during his frank online conversation with fans, Ju'Not came right out and said that the TV talent show is in fact rigged, and that its contracts are unfair to contestants.

"It's a fixed thing if I ever saw one," he boldly declared--much to the shock of many naive chatters, who responded with capslocked interjections and frowny-faced emoticons.

The name Ju'Not Joyner cracks me up - don't know why, perhaps I am racist.

But "he boldly declared--much to the shock of many naive chatters, who responded with capslocked interjections and frowny-faced emoticons" made me literally barf my milk onto my flat screen.


Moving on, this is lil wayne, aka weezy, the newest hottest singing sensation in America.



The aka is because he has a speech problem - he literally has trouble speaking and, well, makes this weezing sound.

My personal theory is that this strange character is also retarded, but hey, lets not pile it on on the poor retard, shall we?

Since this is black America pop culture, lets move on to what whites like in America.

This is UFC, ultimate fighting.



This is like wrestling... except the fighting is for real and even more degenerate and barbaric than the old, fake wrestling matches.

And there is blood.

And trauma.

And real pain.

And the animalistic, base, degenerate, bored witless crowd in crowded pubs and bars, puffing their shoulders, talking with gravitas like a TV expert about the stock market, about how one fighter used submission (choked) or did a takedown or just a loud, weird YEEEAAARGHHH as one fighter pounds the other one bloody.

And of course, living vicariously one's violent fantasies, the other end of the spectrum, lust, must also be catered to.

UFC, like every violent sport in America (except Karate, which is surprisingly the least violent sport in America) has its share of floozies.



Vacuous look, empty stare, smile that does not hint of one iota of intelligence, and the obligatory badly applied makeup / rouge, which makes a plain girl into a skank.

This, err, beauty, is a ring girl, walking with a giant sign with the round's number on it - to the accompaniament of whistles, loud yells and the loud, weird YEEEAAARGHHH shouted by fat, sexually frustrated males.

I guess this is the new, modern American:



Homo Americana, indeed...





And last, but certainly least, women's fashion.

I went shopping with my girl (was dragged, as usual, to a shopping mall) and, as usual, when we hit the women fashion area of a big mall store our expressions varied from horror, to amusement, to bewilderment.

There are two main trends for women for this spring/summer season.

One, and perhaps the most popular, is the mumu.

A mumu is exactly what it sounds like, a large bag with three holes in it, one for the head and two for the arms, open at the bottom.

No, I am not kidding - that's what's being sold to American women, from JC Penney to Target to the more expensive boutiques.

A mumu is great for a fat woman, because it makes a fat woman look exactly like a slim one.

A beautiful woman is turned into a shapeless, contourless, curveless slob in a mumu, but since most American women are overweight (from slightly to the oh my god! range), perhaps this fashion trend (perhaps I should put fashion in quotation marks?) is what female Americans need (shudder...).

The second trend in American women fashion is hmmm... lets call it "what would your grandma wear?" trend.



A blouse like this is much more complicated to manufacture, and perhaps that is why the mumu is the, by far, the most numerous in American malls.

After all, it is made by prison/slave labor in China, and making this mess is much more work.

But anyway, let me draw your attention to a few things.

The first thing is the puffed, extremely short sleeves, which make even the most feminine shapely arm look like a weird, twisted, gnarled misshapen mess and the woman look like an arthritis sufferer.

The next thing that struck me is the bow tie in the front of the blouse.

A bow tie like that was popular in Europe... in the 1800's... for SMALL, kid girls, ages 2 to 9.

At age 10 any self respecting, non retarded girl if told to wear a blouse like that by her mum would either take a sharp utensil and take the tie bow off, or use said sharp utensil to kill her mother.

Last is the abundance of frills at the bottom.

As if there are not enough things that distract your eyes from the figure of an American girl wearing this travesty, the frills are the final straw.

Being somewhat conservative in how I like my girl to dress, the KISS principle - keep it simple, stupid - is the one that comes to mind.

Classic dresses, with NOTHING on them, no fucking bow ties, no frills a la 19th century, no silly puffy extremely short sleeves - just plain, one color, shapely dress, or a plain, simple blouse with jeans.

Sexiness, defined - timeless.

But instead, we get this in American stores:


















The horror.

The horror.