Pushy Israelis in Every American Mall

I was familiar with the strange phenomenon of the ever present Israelis manning their posts at kiosks at American malls. Thing is, this was Obama city area (read: Chicago), so it did not strike me as too strange.

But now I have moved to a more redneck area (sorry, no specifics) - the tri state area if you will.

And lo and behold, here are the familiar kiosks in all their glory in a god forsaken mall in the middle of redneckia.

I was flabbergasted and I just stood there, my mouth open.

Amazed.

The saleslady (actually more like an Israeli high school or college student) quickly approached me: "Are you familiar with the Dead Sea?"

"Well, yes", I stammered, and then thought that although I WAS familiar with that landmark, every redneck in town probably stammered a "Yes" also so as not to appear stupid. "Where are you from?"

"Israel", then quickly: "Well, we are selling beauty products here".

"Well, I am beautiful enough", I stammered.

"Come, come - let me see your hands" was the retort/command.

I knew what was coming.

A girl I knew (don't want to say dated - shudder) was accosted by one of these people at an American mall in the greater Obama city area.

The command "Let me see your hands!" was also shouted, and she meekly complied.

After a quick chat about how the cream that she used on my acquaintance's hands was superb, and was making her hands oh so smooth, I was amazed that the girl I was with was talked into buying this stuff.

About $50 later, as we walk away, she confided in me that she has issues saying "No!" to people.

Well, I thought, then you need some serious psychological help, doll, and I am now getting the fuck away from you you crazy bitch.


I forgot about this incident - but then, just today, it came back to me full force.

After the saleslady uttered the "I am from Israel", I wanted to lay into her, ask her what kibbutz, if she lived on the occupied territories, and if she drives a caterpillar tractor... over American college girls.

But thought better of it.

This is America.

It's dangerous to draw attention to oneself.

I did a quick google research and here are some articles that shed some light on this nationwide phenomenon. (Yes, this is happening all across the USA).

First up, The Jewish Journal: Illegal Israelis Lured to Mall Kiosks, dated September 7, 2006 (this has been going on for a while).

"Keren," an Israeli in her mid-20s, worked last year at what has become a seasonal high-paying job for thousands of young Israelis: selling body lotions, face creams and other such products at shopping mall kiosks throughout the United States in the months leading up to Christmas. According to Keren, who spoke with The Journal on the condition that her real name not be used, most of these Israelis are here on a tourist visa which, according to the law, does not permit them to work in the United States.

Did you catch that?

These Israeli college students are here on a tourist visa, which forbids them to be working a job here in America.

So what they are doing is illegal.

Moving on:

Keren says that she paid her own way, about $1,000 for a round-trip ticket. When she arrived in New York, "there was an interrogation of 45 minutes. U.S. Customs officials already know that lots of Israelis come to work during the months before Christmas. They know we're not normal tourists, so they treat us differently. It's not easy to get in."

But she did get in, then flew to a Southeastern city, where someone from the company picked her up at the airport.

"He took me right to the apartment," Keren says. "There were four of us, all young Israeli women, living in a two-bedroom apartment and each girl paid $500 per month rent to the people that hired us. I arrived, they introduced me to everybody. You get to know everyone at the mall, and it turns out to be a little Israeli community; everybody knows everybody, becoming good friends with them.

Each apartment gets a car. So even though you go on your own, soon you're part of a community and somebody's protecting you all the time. They make sure you have food, you have gas, you have everything you need."

Usually, the companies that employ Israelis sell "either those small pillows that you can heat in the microwave and they're like a massage when you put them on your neck. Or they sell Dead Sea products, the mud, stuff like that.

"The people you work for, they teach you what to do, how to sell the products. You have a set pitch. You memorize it word by word. Even if you know nothing at all about the product, if you do the pitch word by word, people will buy it. The products you sell, you can buy them in Israel for $10. Here in the U.S. people pay $60, $70."

When Keren says this, there's an undertone of condescension toward the naive American shopper, who's willing to fork over big bucks to buy mud and salt from the Dead Sea.

Lets repeat the key points for emphasis.

These kids come here on a student visa and illegally work in American malls.

They are assigned a helper who helps them with getting a car, gas money and other small things that they do not know how to do (or cannot do due to them being here illegally).

There are grouped in small groups, and each group has a contact who helps out with getting a car, gas money, or any other help that is needed.

As Karen says: "Each apartment gets a car. So even though you go on your own, soon you're part of a community and somebody's protecting you all the time. They make sure you have food, you have gas, you have everything you need."

This reminds me a lot of how terrorist cells operate.

Now, before I get called a lot of names and reported to the Anti Defamation League (as if I wasn't already), I am not calling these kids terrorists.

It's simply the methods that they employ remind me of a terrorist cell.

OK?

Each cell (apartment) is assigned a commander (a helper) who presumably is here legally (presumably being the key word) and is familiar with the country to be useful to the group - to get plane tickets, procure a car, rent an apartment, etc.

This was the same way that the 9/11 terrorist cells operated - they shared an apartment (a terrorist cell, or an action unit) and each unit had a helper (a commander) familiar with the country who helped out however he could.

Just interesting method of operation, almost militarized (or al-Kaida'ized, if you think of it - but this method of urban cell has been used since the early 1900's).

And of course, they are selling crap. Literally.

They are selling mud and salt. Stuff that in Israel costs you $10 (if that). Here in the States the dirt they are peddling - the cost is much higher, $70 or more.

So these Israelis are exposed to American stupidity and venality (and what better example than that girl I was with).

Keren says she made good money. "Sometimes as much as $800 in a day. My friend worked three months, then went back to Israel and paid for four years of college, a car and an apartment. The kind of money you could never make in Israel."

But there's tension all the time. "When you're working at a kiosk, every person who sits nearby for more than a few minutes, you suspect they might be immigration. So you walk away without attracting attention. Any time you see a police car in the loading area, you get nervous. You think there's going to be a raid. Sometimes you get advance warning. Every one of these kiosks has one or two legal employees. They're the ones that remain when they think a raid is about to take place. Every time we were driving and someone was following our car for more than three blocks, we'd get scared.

Well, this is a lovely way to operate a business, isn't it?

For Keren, the reason that Israelis work at the malls is simple: the money. "When you work at a kiosk during the months before Christmas, you make more than your parents in Israel.
(...)
Any other reason why Israelis do this? "I guess Israelis tend to live more on the edge," Keren says. "They never think they'll lose much if they get caught; they always feel there's a way around the system. If you get caught, what's the worst that can happen? A couple of weeks in jail, then you get sent back to Israel. If they take your passport, you go back to Israel and get a new one.

Then you come back to the U.S. with a new passport.

"I mean, it's not like they're going to keep you in a U.S. prison for the rest of your life. A couple of weeks, at most. So the next Christmas the same Israelis are back here, working the kiosks at the mall. No worries, no nothing. It's not that intimidating to them."

Great, so these kids are learning that the American system of law enforcement is easy to beat.


A few thoughts.

One, these kids want an experience of making extra money (indeed, good money), as the article narrates:

Keren says she made good money. "Sometimes as much as $800 in a day. My friend worked three months, then went back to Israel and paid for four years of college, a car and an apartment. The kind of money you could never make in Israel."

All this for selling mud, crap, and other assorted shit to gullible, stupid Americans.

It's an adventure for these kids, as well as a way to make money.

Think of it as the American college students taking a backpack and travelling through Europe, but with an opportunity to make money in the process.

As the Israeli girl profiled has said, everything would be great IF this was legal.

But it is not - and those kids here on student visas, they are not supposed to be doing this.

Personal experience - the sellers are INCREDIBLY pushy, to the point of being rude.

If you do not flee right away, they will grab you by the hand, and smear your hand with some goo - whether you are a man like myself, who sneers at beauty products and works on his tough guy scowl - makes no difference.

You WILL be pressured, sometimes even the other sellers will gang up on you and pressure you to buy their "quality" products, because of course "you deserve the best" and "you need this".

And most Americans WILL buy some shit cream or other, just to be able to flee the situation - remember, the pushy seller IS holding your hand all this time.

Pussies.

If you want to buy this (I don't know, maybe mud and salt is good for your skin, I am not a beautician), cool, buy it.

But if you feel pressured, get up, ask for a towel to wipe yourself, and if not available, politely thank them for their time and walk away.

Don't feel pressured.

If you can't handle these pushy fuckers, what will you do at a car dealership - get pressured into buying a $50,000 car?

Another thought, of the conspiracy theory variety.

This strikes me as a perfect pre-school for possible spies.

Think about it.

You are dumped into a strange (for you) country, with strange people who speak a different language, have different customs, mannerisms, etc.

Your job is to accost them and bend them to your will.

Can you think of a better way to spot a prospective spy in a group of people?

After all a spy is not a James Bond moron who goes around the world shooting people and blowing stuff up (thanks, Hollywood, for that idiotic stereotype).

A spy's job is to TALK to people, to ingratiate himself/herself into a target country, region, group of people, and get them to talk, and then to control the conversation to get what you want from them.

Keren from the article:

"The people you work for, they teach you what to do, how to sell the products. You have a set pitch. You memorize it word by word. Even if you know nothing at all about the product, if you do the pitch word by word, people will buy it.

Is there better spy (or come to think of it, even business school) training than that?

OK America, I am done here.

Enjoy your mud.

AG