Wednesday, December 26, 2007

American Goy musings on the American political system

The American system, and unless you live in a cave in Papua New Guinea you know this, is made up of two parties. Republicans and Democrats. I will now tell you why this system is probably the most terrible form of "democracy". I promise to keep it very simple. In fact, I will be simplyfying a whoooole lot here but it will be fun. I promise (and you believe me? Suckaaaa!).

Normal countries around the world that are not dictatorships (or are NOT called USA) have what is called a Parliamentary system of governance. What that means is that the population of a country elects their representatives to the government (Congress, House of Lords, Chief Uga Booga Big Tent, etc.) who then represent them. Simple.

With time (pretty quickly) populations found their issues that they cared about, and organized political parties around them. So farmers got the farmer party, the merchants got their representation, religious people got their representation, etc. You want to make a new party called The Beer Drinkers Party? Not a problem bro, sign a few papers and there you go - fight for your right (to paaaaaartay!).
Beer Drinking Party - these guys sounds like winners!

In every society, there is a proportion of crazy people. Usually, the idiots who literally follow their religion's tenets, the far right people (think Nazis) and the far left loonies (think Communists and/or Hippies) are the loudest, as they believe their ideas are the best no matter what and all should believe what they believe (or else).

In a NORMAL COUNTRY, that is not a problem. These loonies make their political parties (for example, Communist parties in France, Italy etc.), a very small % of the population votes for them, and they get just enough seats in a Parliament (or Uga Booga's Tent or whatever) to keep them happy and just enough to NOT CAUSE ANY TROUBLE.

Most people laugh at these crazies, call them names, and then vote for the non crazy, sane politicians.

As you can already infer, with two political parties, things are a-different in the Yoo Ess of Ey.

The idiots/loonies/crazies make the most noise about their issues, and have a religious fervor when it comes to really unimportant, asenine shit (like teaching religion in school, for example). But since they control only 5-10% of seats in a parliament, these idiots are safely ignored. Not so in the Yoo Ess of Ey.

Since there are only two parties available, the loonies have no choice but to join one of them. Since they are the loudest, most dedicated, the political parties which should be dealing with something tangible, like, say, the crushing debt of USA to China, or, oh, I don't know, Why the hell we are in Iraq (post on that coming up soon), the politicians instead are forced to confront issues like abortion, teaching religion in school, gay marriage, how a TV movie was offensive to somebody...

What happened in the USA is that the parties were highjacked by these loonies and THEIR ISSUES dominate the political debates and TV coverage.

But is it as simple as that?
Always (like I keep saying) look deeper and you will see that you barely scratch the surface.

In a two party system, there is less people to bribe (the leaders of the party usually have the power behind the scenes, and WOE to any lower party guy who voices criticism OR reports a crime or corruption. No more election funds for you and, oh, you can forget about that seat on the Financial Appropriations Commitee. No, you will sit now on the Testing Scum Water from broken Nuclean Plants Commitee - next time, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!).

What is a whistle blower who (gasp!) told the truth about why we are in Iraq, or dares to discuss the power of AIPAC, or says something offensive (for example, "Palestinians effectively live under Apartheid in Israel"), to do when he is not re-elected due to losing all the corporate and AIPAC money? Will he join the other party? See, in a normal country, that politician would be snapped up by another party. Not so in the United States.

See, when there are more political parties, including the loonies on the far right or the far left (who just don't give a shit - knowaumsayin?), chance are when one party does something BAD (like say, moves all US jobs from USA to China and Latin America - something MINOR like that), somebody WILL say something. Somebody will say that this politician is a scumbag. That Bush Jr. is clearly retarded (if you are shocked at this last statement, you MUST be at least a 3rd generation American citizen).

Because you cannot bribe ALL of those parties. Especially since the far right and the far left hate each other AND the majority Centre (Centre = normal people).

When you have two parties, it is just possible (juuuuuuuust) that both of them came to an agreement on what's what, and how to fix the system, how to "milk" it so they and their families get fatter and live large (pardon the ebonics, I like to talk street slang sometimes).
It is juuuust possible that both parties become so corrupt that they stand for the SAME THINGS, and that there are NO DIFFERENCES between them. It is juuuuust viable that they support each other in this incestous relationship. When one of them is not elected, somehow that (fat pig) gentleman starts to work for a lobbying group immediately AND goes on a speaking engagement tour which pays them $30,000 per speech (where the fuck is the money for this shit coming from?)
People adore Mr Gonzalez

It is quite simple if you break it down to my (idiot) level.

Bonus Material:
Lobby group - In the United States, this is a professional organization that BRIBES politicians so that the politicians will do what the lobby group tells them to do. So a group supporting anti abortion will tell the politicians to make laws that are (shock!) anti abortion, and a pro Israel lobby will tell politicians to ALWAYS support Israel (or else...), etc.

The Lobby group will bribe the politicians by giving them money under the table, providing whores (all those GOLF trips to Thailand and other countries... fact fiinding missions.. yeah congressman that is REALLY what you do there), giving them drugs, helping out their family and friends (here's a job for your aunt Mr. Senator! $200,000, and she will be a vice president of American Association of Friendship, Unity, Country and Keen Underdogs for Taxpayers, abbreviated to errrrr...FUCKUTaxpayers)

Now, most people will think that such an institution is simply UNDEMOCRATIC. After all, these lobby groups exist to promote their masters' viewpoints and goals, and screw the rest. And all is fair in love and politics (cheating, stealing, lying to get ahead...).

In a REAL democracy, a politician would simply hire people to conduct a POLL, and ask the citizens in his (her?) region (country?) what is on their mind. People would give the pollsters a piece of their mind, and the politician would get to it (whatever is the most pressing issue(s) in that poll).

That is, IF USA was a democracy...

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